The following are actual written responses to test questions given to young students in a Catholic school. The children's spelling and grammar have been left unedited. Imagine being a nun and reading those answers while trying to keep a straight face:

1. IN JENUSUS GOD GOT TIRED OF MAKING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBETH OFF.

2. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILL OF SALT DURING THE DAY BUT A BALL OF FIRE AT NITE.

3. THE JEWES WERE PEEPLE THAT HAD TRUBLE WITH MEAN GENITELS.

4, THE EGIPTANS WERE ALL DROWNDED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS MOSES WENT UP TO MONT SYANIDE TO GET THE 10 COMMITMINTS.

5. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

6. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REECHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBROOS IN THE BATTAL OF GERITOL.

7. THE GRATEST MIRICAL IN THE BIBAL IS WHEN JOSH TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBAYED HIM.

8. DAVID WAS A HEBRU KING WHO PLAYED THE LIER. HE FOUGT THE FINKLESTINES THAT WERE A RACE OF PEOPLE THAT LIVED IN BIBICLE TIMES.

9. SALMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS HAD 300 WIFES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

10. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

11. THEN 3 WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

12. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMACULIT CONTRAPSION.

13. JOHN THE BLAKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

14. ONE OF THE OPPOSSOMS WAS SANT MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

15. CRISTAINS HAVE ONE WIFE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

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Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness or despair but manifestations of strength and resolution...