10a. The leading cause of death is birth.
9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: hungry and horney. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a slinky--not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid some day, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
2. In the 60s people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.