8:00am. I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I hadn’t made a snow woman.
8:15 I made a snow woman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbours complained about the voluptuous chest on the snow woman.
8:20 The gay couple living across the street complained that it should have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The neighbours on the left, who are vegans, complained that the orange nose, a carrot, this needs to be something else because food is for eating and not to decorate a snowman and woman with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The husband of Fatima wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 The Police arrives to see what’s going on.
8.42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because this could be used as a striking weapon.
8:50 The Salafi jihadist militant group Islamic State made itself known as the snowman.
8:52 My phone is being seized and thoroughly checked while I am being blindfolded and flown to the Police station in a helicopter.
9:00 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
I'm done with this shit!! I will never make a snowman, snow woman or snow whatever again. It’s too controversial !
I wish everybody a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.